Keeping and staying on top of our New Year's resolutions
may be more about how and when we say "no" rather than sheer
willpower.
Jim Camp, an expert on negotiating and author of No: The
Only Negotiating System You Need for Work and Home,
presents seven concepts for getting what we desire on a
multitude of fronts by saying the word "no" early and often.
1. Start with "no" - Resist the urge to compromise.
Remember that "no" is not an absolute rejection, but a
decision that can be changed. Invite the person who said no to
your proposal to explain his or her vision. It may open the
door to an honest discussion that can eventually turn out in
your favor.
2. Be in control - Do not dwell on gratuitous things
you may want. Focus instead on what you can control-your
actions and behaviors. In the realm of personal finance that
could mean reducing payments on your debt and putting the
remainder in your savings. "Say no to full payments," Camp
said. "Pay a third or a quarter of the bill and tuck the rest
of the money away."
3. Do your research - Learn everything you can about
a project before you begin to work on it. This way, you will
save time and prevent a minefield of surprises, whether you're
dealing with the boss, a car dealer or your teenager. The
confidence that comes with knowing just what you are dealing
with often translates into tangible success.
4. Face problems head-on - Identify the issues and
bring them out into the open. Whether they are your own
problems or somebody else's, acknowledging them gives you an
edge.
5. Check your emotions - Practice self-control and
let go of any expectations or judgments. Whatever you do,
don't be needy.
6. Get them talking - Ask open-ended questions that
begin with "what" and "how." Find out what the other person
wants or needs and show them how your proposal may actually be
beneficial to them.
7. Have a purpose and a vision to reflect it - Learn
to present your ideas as solutions. By helping others see
exactly what they will gain from your plan, you spark
decision-making and action. "When you have a mission in place,
decision-making really gets bolstered. It becomes so much
easier to say no and so much clearer when to say yes."
Here's to a year filled with accomplished goals!
